Hi everyone. I haven't been feeling well this past week. I have spent many hours on the Web MD symptom checker trying to identify my illness. Despite the lack of any professional diagnosis, I have narrowed it down to either Mononucleosis, Mad Cow disease, Bubonic Plague, or Micropenis syndrome.
I haven't kissed anyone (nor am I weak like Tony and Diego), I haven't eaten beef, and my penis seems fine. I can, therefore, deduce that I have the plague, which means this may be my last post. I love you all.
Aside from the minor setback of my diminishing health, things have been swell. I've been playing a lot of golf, hanging out with cool people, and searching for good deals. I bought a full set of used clubs with a bag for 10 bones! I'll talk more when I feel better.
Me: I've been coughing a lot
Web MD: Is the cough productive?
Me: Very
Web MD: Is there a white or yellow discharge?
Me: White
Web MD: You have a sinus infection and you've been drinking too much milk
Me: I hate milk and never drink it
Web MD: Oh.....then you have the Plague
Me: really?
Web MD: yep
Me: dang
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