MTV

Easily the two best music videos of the year (sorry Justice). But which one is better? You decide ----------->

Evil Bee
Peacebone

7 beats per measure!

this is actually kind of funny


http://youtube.com/watch?v=KwWGZaGHrxU

33% Complete

Well hello again. Thanks for tuning in. This past weekend I traversed the Scottish country side by driving northwest into the Isle of Skye. Before I talk about that, it may interest you to know that a tragedy-turned-opportunity struck this weekend. I was playing golf on the beautiful Strathyrum course when I uncharacteristically missed the fairway and hit my ball into the heather. Some little Scottish dwarf yelled at me, saying that I was slowing play despite my hasty playing style. I pulled my trusty 5-iron (remember the clubs I bought for 10 bucks?) and executed a perfect stroke. Instead of resting the ball on the green, it lay motionless as the head of my 5-iron went sailing away. I started to cry because my club was broken and the gimpy Scot started laughing at me. I stopped crying like a bitch and threw my headless shaft like a javelin, impaling the grumpy Scottish midget who really had it coming.

It was a good round.


The trip to Skye was great. I will post pictures on facebook soon that will describe the experience much better than I could with words. It was a thoroughly "outdoorsey" trip with lots of hiking, scenery, nature, and other semi-gay stuff.

On a completely unrelated note, I had one of the most unexpected conversations in Scotland this afternoon. Note-the following conversation actually did happen.

300 pound Texan wearing a 10-gallon cowboy hat and speaking with a thick southern accent: 'Scuse me
Me: Yo
Guy: Yall got a school in this town?
Me: Well yeah...University of St Andrews, its kind of a college town?
Guy: Why you doin' all this book learnin' when you gots golf to be played?
Me: haha...... (courtesy chuckle)
Guy: .... (looks puzzled)
Me: ....
Guy: You a methodist?
Me: No, I'm Jewish
Guy: You're the one's always knockin' on my door!
Me: I think those are Jahova's witnesses
Guy: Who are the Jews then?
Me: We killed Jesus
Guy: Oh right! Well, keep up the good work!
Me: Will do
Guy: Adios
Me: Bye........fuckin weirdo

ICHTHBAO

This album is probably the most accurate aural representation of Scotland's "feel" (except for the second track, which is long and kind of ugly).

Trains suck

Just returned from a fantastic little excursion to Dover and Kent. Two life changing experiences were a direct result of this trip: 1) Starburst now makes a candy called "choozers," which is a Starburst filled with sour/sugary ooze. These little pieces of heaven combine the classic flavor of Starbursts with the advanced goo-infusion technology of Gushers. I love them like crack-cocaine. 2) I now know that it is possible for me to function (though somewhat poorly) with 2 hours of sleep in a 72 hour period.

Aside from perfecting the art of looking retarded in every picture taken of me, my time this weekend was spent at various estates and castles belonging to the National Trust. We saw Dover castle, Winston Churchill's home, the estate of Virginia Woolf's possible lesbian lover (see dialogue below), and the mansion of some rich guy from Connecticut. I also got to see France, a deer farm, secret tunnels, a cannon, and lots of old furniture (and people).

Tour Guide: This is a splendid 14th century carving of a Tudor rose with a beautiful stain and meticulous--
Me (interrupting): Is this the room where Virginia Woolf banged that chick?




Oh yeah, and we took an overnight train to get there and back, hence the title of this entry and the reason for life changing experience #2

UPDATE!!!!

"In Rainbows" is a breathtaking album.



(I know it's only been 5 min from my last post, but I see the light now)

Videotape

When videotape was unveiled live last summer, it was poised to be the greatest song ever recorded by Radiohead. This fact will undoubtedly make Videotape the greatest point of contention on "In Rainbows." After my first listen I was grossly disappointed. No climax, strings, craziness, or infinitely sustained reverb. Just some subtle percussion that seems rhythmically abrasive. As the song closes it becomes quite choppy and spastic (like an old videotape?). I've never really thought, however, that what the music represents takes precedence over aesthetic pleasure. Aural metaphors aside, the final product is so unexpected that I can't help but listen to it on repeat. Does that mean it's actually a good song? Well I don't fucking know that yet! I may never decide if I like it or not, but I'll certainly keep listening to it.

As for the rest of the album...well...it's gonna take a while to digest. I CAN say that this is certainly Radiohead's most cohesive album since Kid A. The album as a whole is certainly much better than it's constituents...I think. Actually I take that back, I'm listening to it again right now and 15 step, Nude, and Arpeggi could all stand on their own. Same with All I Need. Fuck, I guess they can all stand on their own. I suppose that means it's a good album??? I'm still trying to get over the shock of hearing Radiohead's sound transformed into acoustic semi-breeziness. Did Radiohead go all Sky Blue Sky on us? No. The conventional aspects of the album are curbed by subtle and (sometimes overwhelmingly) bizzare textures (i.e. Videotape).

Other comments:
- The album took me like 20 seconds to download. How did they do that?
- All I Need kind of rips off Roygbiv.
- If that's Ed singing in the background of Arpeggi then it's easily the greatest musical moment in Radiohead history.
- Videotape is weird.

Cough Coughing

Hi everyone. I haven't been feeling well this past week. I have spent many hours on the Web MD symptom checker trying to identify my illness. Despite the lack of any professional diagnosis, I have narrowed it down to either Mononucleosis, Mad Cow disease, Bubonic Plague, or Micropenis syndrome.

I haven't kissed anyone (nor am I weak like Tony and Diego), I haven't eaten beef, and my penis seems fine. I can, therefore, deduce that I have the plague, which means this may be my last post. I love you all.

Aside from the minor setback of my diminishing health, things have been swell. I've been playing a lot of golf, hanging out with cool people, and searching for good deals. I bought a full set of used clubs with a bag for 10 bones! I'll talk more when I feel better.

Me: I've been coughing a lot
Web MD: Is the cough productive?
Me: Very
Web MD: Is there a white or yellow discharge?
Me: White
Web MD: You have a sinus infection and you've been drinking too much milk
Me: I hate milk and never drink it
Web MD: Oh.....then you have the Plague
Me: really?
Web MD: yep
Me: dang

This picture makes Neko Case look approximately 20 times hotter than she really is

One Week In

Quite a bit has happened this past week and I would very much like to share it with you. I am living in a predominantly freshman hall, so the whole experience has been a blast from the past: plenty of bad guitar playing, squealing in the halls, tickle fights (at least that’s what it sounds like), poisonous sink water, runny yogurt, residence hall sponsored drinking events, fried candy bars, and helium inhalation*. Aside from these typical freshman shenanigans things have been quiet. St Andrews is a small town that is completely overrun by the university. There is a “bad” part of town that has “crime,” though I’m fairly certain that means there was once a singular crime in the history of St Andrews that happened to occur on that particular block. The “locals” are rumored to exist though I haven’t really seen one yet. There are lots of squirrelly old people that wear gigantic sun visors despite the permanently overcast sky, but they look like tourists to me.

There are surprisingly few Scots as well. I did meet one guy from Glasgow who came on to me after I accidentally flirted with him. It was quite a fiasco that ended in false hopes and broken dreams. The dialogue went as follows:

Me: I still haven’t gotten you a drink

Guy: Ya know wha’ else yoo haven given meh?

Me: What?

Guy: Yer Number!

Me: Hahaha

Guy: ……

Me: ……

Guy: ……

Me: …………….I’m not gay

* I’m not sure if the guy I hear talking in the halls sucks helium all the time as a joke or if he has an abnormally high voice. Either way, I find his idiocy/misfortune hilarious.